Throughout the U.S. the one thing that dominates our culture is television. I would say 95% of people here have more than one television in their homes. Click here to see an article that says the average American watches about 5 hours of TV per day. (That's actually worse than I thought. I thought it would be about 4 hours, but there ya go.) This is a bad thing for various reasons such as sex in advertising. A large portions of commercials use sex to sell their products, especially health and beauty products. I don't think anyone can argue that point.
Okay, so why is this bad?
Well, click here for one. Click here for another study. Here's a quote: "According to a report from the Girl Scouts Research Institute, "Real to Me: Girls and Reality TV," shows like "Teen Mom" and "Jersey Shore" have mixed effects on young girls.
The study polled 1,100 "tween" and teenage girls and found that reality shows can be uplifting and motivational, but they can also negatively impact girls' relationships and self-esteem.
Girls who regularly watch reality TV accept and expect a higher level of drama, aggression and bullying in their own lives.
The report also found that these girls measure their worth primarily by physical appearance."
Okay, so...TV is bad. I, myself, suffer from being subjected to the crap for so many years. I didn't know I was being subjected, of course. All the girls I knew were trying to look like the women on TV, and why? Because boys were being taught what is beautiful by watching the same crap, so they placed a higher regard for girls who looked like the models and actresses they were shown.
Let's look at what we are shown by Googling "beautiful women" and clicking images. Here's the list. Now, how many women do you know actually look like this? What about the perfect body?
Do you see that? It says..."A body for every body"....only none of those are MY body!
And here is the 50 most googled women in 2013.
I've found one company that I do support by purchasing their products whenever I'm in need of soap, shampoo, or deodorant. Click here for Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty.
The Freak Out
Okay, so now I'll go get my nails done, my hair done, buy more clothes that hide my figure or at least accentuate my breasts making them appear fuller. I'll get a gym membership and work off that extra skin under my chin. I'll only eat lettuce and even then I'll gag myself so I'm not taking in too many calories. I'll spend more on make up than the country spends on oil. I'll spend thousands of dollars on plastic surgery so my husband won't look at any other women but me. I will be the perfect woman!
So, you go about trying to do all of that, and then come to the realization that there isn't enough money in your budget, and even if there was you'd end up looking like Joan Rivers or Dolly Pardon. So...then....what is left? Well, we can just take a shower and do our hair and hope we are enough to satisfy our husbands. If we are enough then he won't look elsewhere...will he? I mean...he won't look at other women and think about having sex with them........will he? She's got a better body than me. Does he find her sexually attractive? Is he thinking about her? Is he trying hard not to look at that woman that walked by who's spilling out of her shirt? Look at that woman in the tight jeans in front of us....is he looking? What is he thinking about?
When is the last time he called me beautiful? When is that last time he told me I had pretty eyes? When is the last time he looked at me with sultry bedroom eyes? How many years has it been since he said, "I love your legs." When is the last time he....?
Ugh! I don't look like these top actresses:
Yeah, I get low self-esteem too. I get it and sometimes there is no real reason. I only realize it when I catch a glimpse of the cover of Cosmo in the store and it hits me like a ton of bricks that ... I don't look like that. I want to look like that. How long have I felt I'm ugly because I don't look like that?
The main reason we started keeping TV out of our home is because of my low self-esteem. Even with it cut out, I still suffer now and again apparently. It happens less often, but it does happen. Truth be told, I'm suffering a bout of it right now. It happens. I realize I'm not 30 anymore. Gravity is affecting me. Age is affecting me. I can't compete with the perfect woman.
Most women, myself included, need to be with a man who doesn't chase skirts and pine for some skin on TV. To me, for a man to be looking at a woman other than the one he's with and thinking about sex, is cheating. For myself, I have no desire to see another man naked. In fact, the very thought is gross to me. I just don't want any part of it. So, is it so much to ask of my husband to not want to look at other women? Our society says it is. Our culture says cleavage is what is in style, as are form-fitting jeans.
Our society says men look, and it's perfectly normal. What this means is...it's normal for your husband to want to have sex with another woman...is it not? When he looks at another woman's rear, what is he thinking of if not something along the lines of getting sexually excited??? Our society says, it's normal so we should learn to deal with it. The problem is ours, not theirs. Does this make any sense to any of you? I mean, really?
It makes me feel better to keep the crap out of my home. I suffer less for it. I don't have to worry so much all the time how I stack up, because I'm the only one he sees naked. If there is cleavage around, it's not because we let it in our home. My home is a sanctuary.
I don't think I would need such a sanctuary if there weren't years worth of commercials, TV, and movies poured into my brain on what boys like. If there were no MTV, if there were no Hollywood, if there were no Victoria's Secret, if there were no Cosmo and Maxim, if there were no pornographic movies, if there were no Playboy Mansion, if there were no wonder bras, if there were no such thing as anorexic models, if there were no photo shop, if and if and if...
Let us not forget that saying in high school..."If your man wanted you, he wouldn't be looking at me." Or, "If you were doing your job, your man wouldn't need to look at me that way." Yeah, I'd say we are trained from birth to have low self-esteem due to mainly our culture and it's being shaped by media. I don't think anything else affects our culture on such a large scale...and our culture is starting to revolve around sex, cleavage, and "what men find sexy".