Tuesday, September 22, 2015


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 Your spouse needs to be able to trust you.  He has the right to be able to walk out of the house and know you are faithful in mind, heart, and body, and he should be able to trust that you will do him, not harm, but only good...every day.

I've mentioned before that I worked in an office building where the topic of most women's conversation was their husbands ineptitude.  This is being untrustworthy.  This is doing your husband harm, not good.  Once, one of these women's husband came to have lunch with her.  He walked the hall proud to have her on his arm and  I seen by the looks of the other women that they recalled all the times this man didn't lift a finger to help; was even considered by his wife to be lazy.  I just looked at him with pity and wondered how he would feel if he knew I pitied him, if he knew the other women were scornful towards him.  This man could not imagine the things his wife said about him.

Other conversations I've witnessed are mainly from the opposite sex.  They speak of women and how hot they think they are, what they think about their breasts or rear, or whatnot.  They have conversations about women they are no longer with and how they performed in bed.  They critique things about women on TV or women at work.  I feel bad for the wives of these men.  When did it become uncool to love your wife??

What you think comes out of your mouth.  I know what these kinds of people think and it makes me sick.  Both of these types of conversations show unfaithfulness to the spouse.  Anything you say that would hurt your husband is being untrustworthy.

This entails sticking to your budget.  If you are grocery shopping alone, have some self-discipline and spend your money wisely for it is his money also.  Don't splurge on getting your nails done or buying a new pair of sandals or ear rings.  Stay away from the dollar stores if you are addicted to these.  Your husband needs to trust that you will be wise with money.  You aren't doing him any favors buying things outside of your budget.  What you are doing is robbing from the two of you...this includes him.  You are stealing.  You are a thief and your husband can't give you $20.00 to buy dish soap and toilet paper without you spending the change on a coffee from the gas station or that dollar dust collector.  Be wise with your money and be a good wife.
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 Let's flip this around. Here it is time to pay the electric bill.  Well, you're $20 short.  I guess it's going to have to be late.  The next day you find out your husband has been hitting the gas station for coffee every single morning for the better part of a month.  "So, that's why we can't pay our bills!"   If you would be angry over something like this, perhaps you need to look at things from his perspective.  For all the women out there I've seen bad mouth their husbands for being bad with money, they will turn around and order things from Avon or buy lunch out.Here, he sent you to the grocery store to ensure your household eats this week.  You have enough food, but if you spend the change on something frivolous you are gypping your house out of something else.  Perhaps you could take the change from your shopping and put it in an envelope to save for a deep freeze or something else.  Understand?

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Your husband needs to trust that you are filling up your time during the day with things that are beneficial.  We are not perfect and we can't always be working 24 hours a day.  We all need time off.  We all have days we are kinda blah and just want to read a good book.  That's fine.  Try and get the dishes done and the bed made at least if you are feeling poorly.  Also, don't make it a habit.  Cleaning one day a week and taking six off to run the roads window shopping or napping isn't doing your husband any good.  Clean your home.  Keep it clean.  It doesn't take hours and hours every day.  Once your done cleaning, try to do something worthwhile.  Take up crochet.  It costs so little to get started.  Buy a crochet hook and a skein of yarn and watch YouTube tutorials on how to crochet.  Start a recipe collection and put it to good use.  If you stay home full time, then this is your chosen profession.  Get to work.
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On the flip side, what would you say if he took a day off and didn't get paid for it?  Further, what if because of this your mortgage payment had to be delayed.  Further, because your mortgage payment had to be delayed, the following weeks bills are late and so on until you finally dig out of that hole.  You would probably feel like he put you, personally, in jeopardy.  He broke the peace of the household by bringing in the stress of unpaid bills and some unwanted phone calls from bill collectors.  Don't break the peace of your home with filth and disorder.  You are robbing from him the joy of peace when he comes home to Kraft Mac and Cheese and hot dogs and an unmade bed.  How? If you have to ask that, it's been a while since you sat on the couch in a clean home.  Clean your house, then ask "How?" again.

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Sadly today, not many people can trust the one they have decided to give themselves to for the rest of their lives.  There was a pretty big news story regarding a website hundreds of thousands of people used to cheat.  I guess they would sign up and could look for other people looking to be unfaithful and they could be unfaithful together.  This is the state of our world.  Just when I think I can't be any more shocked, a web site like this comes to light.

I really don't have much to say about cheating I don't think.  It's wrong.  Most people know this I  believe.  Surely not many people out there would consider it okay?  Even the people using the website I mentioned above may lie to themselves, but surely they know it's really wrong.

It seems that in this world of  the "if it feels good, then do it to make yourself happy, because life is too short" philosophy, there are a lot of people that believe pornography isn't cheating.  It is.  It's that simple.  If you can't do it in front of your husband then, yeah, it's wrong.  Duh.

If you are having sex with someone other than your husband in your head, then you are cheating.  Your mind needs to be clean.  You have promised yourself to him and he has every right to be the only person you are thinking of in that light.  Perhaps you would not feel threatened if he decided he wanted to pretend to have sex with another, (or many), women?  If you don't have a problem with this, then perhaps you are misunderstanding the purpose and value of your relationship with your partner in life.  I'd suggest in the simplest terms to stop cheating and start having more sex with your spouse.  Do whatever you need to do to make that happen that doesn't involve another person in your bedroom, either real or virtual.

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Once trust is broken, it is very hard to get it back.  It can take years and years to fully get it back and even then, it's probably only surface deep.  Once you have broken the trust of another, the other person probably won't be shocked if you break it again no matter how much time has elapsed.  Would your husband be shocked to find you have a porn addiction?  If so, then he trusts you.  Would he be flabbergasted to find you blew the rent money on lottery tickets and bingo?  What would he say if he came home to a burned dinner, crying babies, and a pile of laundry on the couch?  What would he think if he could hear you talk to other women about him?

Here is another question...are you worthy of his trust? 

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