Friday, November 27, 2015

Supporting Each Other

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I think "back in the day" a lot of women stayed at home and came together for quilting parties and teas.  It's hard to be at home sometimes and even when it isn't, it's nice to have other women in our corner supporting us.  It would be nice if for every stone's throw there were 5 or 6 other women who stayed home that I could get together with and crochet the day away with.  We could discuss the economic situation for our area.  We could pool ideas on what to do with a particularly disobedient child.  We could trade recipes, and exchange baked goods.  Oh, and how wonderful it would be to be part of a group that could crochet, knit, and sew things for a larger cause.  A baby shower, or for a family in need.

I had toyed with the idea of joining an internet group who crocheted or something to a common purpose, but to be honest, I don't like committing to something so large when my schedule right now varies from week to week.  Daniel will be going back to work soon, though, and so will my son, and I'll have the house to myself again and perhaps after the holidays I will commit to something like this.  Right now I have a couple blankets to get done hopefully before Christmas and that's going to be a real challenge for me, even though one blanket is more than half done.

I am thankful for the internet and for the ladies who comment here and support me.  When one of you is gone for a day, you are missed more than you know.  I love going to other blogs and seeing what other women are thinking or are up to.  Even if it's just a post on how to grow blueberries, I love seeing what other women are doing in their homes.  It motivates me.  It enlivens me.  It's a beautiful thing to me to read what another woman has to say on any number of subjects.

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I need other women.  Funny how, for the most part, I can't stand being around other women in real life, and this thought plagues I love the women I socialize with here, but not the women I have to interact with in the store or my neighborhood.  I think because most of the women I have to interact with "in the real world" have different priorities.  They work.  They wear skin revealing outfits.  They spend more money on their hair and nails than I do on food.  I try not to judge, for I was a little like this a couple of decades ago, but it's real hard.  I see a woman like this who has a fake voice, fake nails, and fake face and hair and I get aggressive.  My tone changes.  My posture changes.

Example:  I walked in the bank one day with my husband and we were only looking to make a small transaction and get out unscathed.  This woman looked at me and asked, "Do you know about Rooster Days?"  Yes, I knew.  Rooster Days is a yearly fair held in Broken Arrow.  Then she said in this really high-pitched voice, "Can you believe they actually used to bring chickens right here in town???"  And the look of disdain she had.  The scrunched up nose and raised brow....ugh.  I said nothing, but my initial reaction was a lot of potty-mouthing.

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Example #2:  We used to rent movies.  Every time we went to the video store I was faced with any number of tarts.  Some didn't realize they walked out of the house with no clothes on.  And they all had the same high-pitched voice.  Usually I would reply using the same blank look and high-pitched voice.  "Why yes!  I would LOVE to rent this movie!  What do you know?  My favorite color is ALSO clear!!!"

It is women like this that I really have issues with.  Not just issues, but volumes.  And these examples are what happens every time I leave the house.

I wish every time I left the house I found another woman like me who stands in front of the meat counter really sizing up what they have for sale.  I wish I could find more than one other woman (if I'm lucky) in the yarn aisle at Walmart.  I wish the baking aisle in the grocery store was like it is during the Christmas season, year-round.   I'm really missing my neighbor since she moved.  For she knitted and stayed at home.  She homeschooled her now grown children.  We were different in a lot of ways, but it was nice to open my shades and see her out there knitting away.  It was so nice to have another woman right here who has the same priorities as I do. 

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All that said, I'm grateful for the women here who comment and also for those who have blogs.  If I didn't have you, I might start to go crazy thinking I'm the only woman in the world under the age of 70 who has a set of crochet hooks.  My husband looks at how many views I get per day here.  I don't because I don't want this blog to be about that.  However, he told me once about a month ago (before I made it a rule that I don't wanna know) that I get about 100-200 solid views per day or something like that.  You who view but don't comment, I would love to hear what you think even if it's not about anything I wrote about.  Even if it's only to say "Hello!  I stay at home too!"  It doesn't have to be a well-thought out comment.  I just would love to hear from some of you who stop by!  I don't care if our religions differ.  I don't care if you have 8 children at home or none.  I don't care if you're 17-years-old or 77.  Women who stay at home, or who have at least an interest in it, need each other.


  1. Just wanted to say "Hi" and I am so happy that I found your 'little space" here. I look forward to reading your past postings. I so enjoyed this one and feel very much the same as you do. I love tending to our home and I love being home. I love "chatting" with like minded women. It is heartwarming. Blessings & Hugs ♥ Teri

    1. Thank you so much for your uplifting comment! I hope you enjoy the reading here. I am really fortunate to have good, good people who comment. I look forward to seeing you here! It's great to have other women to connect with.


  2. I am the only homemaker on my block. My neighbor's are friendly, but think I'm crazy for staying home and especially for homeschooling. I would love to be able to have a friend over for tea and discuss our at home lifestyles!
    I have some relatives that are like the ones you described at the video store. We see them a lot, but I have to be careful of their influence on my little girl. Immodesty disgust me and I tell her so. I never want my daughter to grow up thinking spending $600 on hair extensions, getting fake nails and a spray tan is a good burden to put on a future husband. I also never want to be the mother of a girl that dresses in a manner that causes temptation to another woman's husband! Sometimes I think I should have been born in the 40's or 50's. I would have fit in better, lol!

  3. LoL I hear you! I feel I should've been born in another era, too. Good point about not wanting her to think it's a good burden to put on her future husband. I wish more people thought the way we do.

    I laughed at your neighbors thinking you are crazy, lol just because it makes a humorous picture. Here they are sending their kids out into "the village" to be raised by whoever with whatever morals and ethics they have. At least they are polite. It's always a good thing to be friendly to your neighbors.

  4. I also find it really important to read about other ladies who stay at home. Here in Finland literally nobody is childfree stay-at-home-wife. I would get pretty lonely if I hadn't you, my sisters in internet. :)

    I have found some female friends who either work in sifts or part-time and one is entrepreneur. So we can meet at daytime. But they are not SAHW. And my set of values differs quite a lot from theirs. But I am glad I have some female friends.

    -Housewife from Finland-

  5. It does my heart good to hear you are practicing your freedom and living out your purpose. I don't think it's many women's life purpose to push one piece of paper into one pile or another. Whether you have children or not, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter the size of the family you are taking care of. It's important to care for your husband and home.

  6. Thank you Dear Michelle for your posts! It is quite a rarity here too to be a stay at home wife but I'm happy and my husband's proud of the fact that he has always supported me and wanted me home. Maybe it's my stage of life, a youngish grandmother (with still so much to learn!) that I don't feel a particular need to have ladies to meet up with...(maybe because I've finally accepted that 'everyone' seems to have such different views on a woman's role than we do.) Although I would love to cross their paths in the 'market place' as we'd all go about the business of tending our homes. I do however, ADORE you blogging ladies and commenters. I am so grateful for your example of actually doing the unconventional. There's often much talking from women about wanting to be able to stay at home but you ARE doing it. (Recently, I did become excited that there'd be another lady home in this area when the wife of one of our neighbour's closed her business in a bigger city and came home to be with her husband here. However, she is looking for work, although she could retire! I just don't understand.) To me, knowing there are others working at home is such a comforting thought. :) Thank you.:)

    1. That's sad about your neighbor. What I mean is, for me, I would have gotten my hopes up only to have them dashed. :(

      We do have great ladies here that leave really uplifting comments. They mean a lot to me, for there isn't anyone near me who holds the same values. I'm really grateful there's somewhere I can go to get my peace fed.