Wednesday, September 23, 2015
Behind Every Successful Man...
You have a lot to do with whether your husband succeeds or fails. Ultimately the decision lies with him most of the time, but there is quite a bit a wife can do to help her husband achieve his goals. Your spouse has goals in life just as you do.
Let's look first at a couple of big goals he might have. My husband, Daniel, wants land. He wants financial stability. He wants to be good to me and take care of my needs. These are goals not accomplished in a week. Most goals like this are ongoing. There are many stepping stones to achieving these, and many times a goal, such as taking care of my needs, is a daily goal and will be til the end of his life.
Smaller goals are sometimes only vehicles to get him to a bigger goal. Being looked at favorably at work for instance, might help him seal the deal on becoming a foreman and thereby helping him bring more financial stability to our household. Smaller goals might have nothing to do with larger goals, really, such as wanting to get the car washed this weekend. One of his goals is to come home and be able to eat a good dinner and relax with me.
As a wife, I can help him achieve all of these goals. Even the larger one involving his job. He just started this new job a couple of months ago. Right now I'm listening very closely to his stories about his day and about his coworkers and bosses in particular. I'm remembering names and I'm starting to form opinions on peoples character. Soon, probably around Thanksgiving I'll make a bunch of breakfast burritos for him to take in for breakfast. Later on, I'll bake a loaf of banana bread or something for a particular coworker he likes and talks to frequently. Maybe I'll send him in with a jar of jelly each for his bosses for Christmas. These are small things I can do that pay a lot of dividends. These things will help him to be looked at in a good light by all those around him. They will see he has a caring wife who knows her way around a kitchen. The giving of these little gifts will spark conversations he otherwise might not have ever had. At his last job, his foreman's wife would reciprocate and I got some jelly and salsa and such out of the deal which was nice. When he got laid off his supervisor had actual tears in his eyes. Also, Daniel just spoke to one of his coworkers at his last job just a few days ago and he said he sure missed my cooking. The lay off a year ago and this man still remembered and missed the breads and cookies I sent in. Know what else? Because of this, Daniel has contacts who were also laid off. If they find jobs they let Daniel know. He has many contacts, in part, because I sent him in with some gingerbread.
A goal of Daniel's is to have a good day at work. I think everyone wants that. Any good military commander will tell you food is an amazing morale booster. When Daniel has a good breakfast everything about his morning goes better. From his commute to dealing with a particularly nasty blueprint, it's all in perspective. When he has a great lunch it gives him the energy he needs to finish his 11 hour shift. While he is at work, he thinks about what we're having for dinner a lot.
I can help with his smaller ambitions, too. Just walking into a clean and peaceful home allows him to more easily achieve the goal of coming home and relaxing with me. It's hard to be in a bad mood when he walks in and makes his way to a clean and inviting bedroom and shower, all the while smelling a ham and potatoes. He knows there is dessert to be had and is appreciative of how hard I worked just for him.
If he wants to wash the car, perhaps I'll help him or at least be outside with him. I can bring him a cup of coffee when he's done and we can sit outside for a while and admire his handiwork.
Something else a wife can do, is simply to be courteous and happy in dealing with those around her. We are private people and don't really like to go visiting a lot, but we are on very good terms with our neighbors. We are because I crochet blankets for them and am truly happy in all my dealings with them. When I see one of our neighbors I will smile real big and say hello! Our conversation won't involve Daniel's ineptitude, but will be about how Daniel fixed our water heater. In all my conversations I paint Daniel in a good light and this lets people know we have a good relationship. They know the police aren't going to get called because we are fighting in the front yard. They know we have a happy home and people want to be around that.
Keep your husband in the forefront of your mind and ask yourself what you can do to help him achieve his goals. Maybe it's asking one of his coworkers' family over for a barbecue. Maybe it's sending him in with some cookies. Maybe it's just keeping a clean home. Maybe it's making sure he eats well. You'd be amazed at what a housewife can accomplish in the life of her husband.
Posted by Peace At Home