Saturday, November 28, 2015

Housewife Perks (and Downsides)

Image result for bonbon eating housewife

I keep up with a blog most of you probably know called Adventures in Housekeeping.  The last couple of posts the author, Sanne, made really had me thinking about the perks and downsides of being a full-time housewife.  There are many jokes made of the lazy homemaker who sits around all day on the couch midst bonbons and dirty diapers staring intently at a soap opera.  There are also many sayings contrary to this picture, such as "Men may work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done."  Both of these statements are true for me, personally.

There are periods of time, be it days, months, or years (my goodness, sometimes even only a couple of hours) where I'll be on a tear through the house dusting, washing windows, folding laundry, and making dish after dish of food for breakfast, lunch, snacks, and dinner.  There are days where I'm superwoman.  My grocery shop comes in under budget, the dog gets three good walks in, and our bedroom looks like something out of a bed and breakfast magazine.  Dinner is beautifully laid out and rivals that of any fine restaurant in food and presentation.  Life is good, serene, and I feel like prettiest woman in the world in a rag of an apron with my hair all over the place, and sweat running down my back.

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There are also periods of time where housework is truly a struggle.  It can be hard to be at home sometimes.  You are still in your pajamas at 10:00 and can't remember the last time you left the house.  You don't speak to another living soul except your very tired and irritable husband, who is so because he's working 70 hours a week.  You just can't seem to get motivated.  The dishes are calling your name and they sound like Beelzebub himself.  Your crochet is in the corner, neglected.  (Actually, you see the cats have been spending quite a bit of time on it.  At least someone is.)  You suppose you should take something out for dinner.  So a couple of frozen chicken breasts hit the counter in a thunk and you give no more though to it until 4:30 when you absolutely cannot put it off any longer.  During these periods I feel ugly and unproductive, but can't seem to pull out of it.  I need a catalyst, and can wait a long time sometimes for this catalyst to hit me.

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Then there are periods of time where I'm somewhere in the middle.  I wake a little later than my husband hoping he took some breakfast burritos to work with him so he's not hungry.  I make the bed, clean the toilet, and then put the coffee on to perk.  While it's creating that black fluid I sometimes refer to as "the blood of the gods", I get dressed and brush my hair.  I have my coffee while I watch the birds and read about other women blessing their homes.  I go through my recipes and may decide to pull out a particularly time consuming one, or not.  I make sure I have all the ingredients for it and do my prep.  At this time, I'll take my dog for her first walk and I try to make it a good, long one.  I look at my to-do list and do those few things on my list to ensure my house remains clean.  Afterwards, I have the afternoon to work on those blankets I'm making for Christmas presents.  After a couple of hours my hands may start to hurting, and I'll put it away and read a book.  During these times, I might take a nap one day or sew up an apron on another.  Some days are really productive and others aren't, but I have my center and I'm happy.


My husband's view is this: He isn't my boss. He doesn't tell me how to run the house. If I'm neglecting my cleaning, he doesn't say anything, at all, ever. He doesn't sigh through his nose or make half-jokes about the state of the laundry or entertainment center. I don't tell him how to do his job (provide) and he doesn't tell me how to do mine. Sometimes he has to have some grace and mercy with me, and I'm thankful for the kind of guy who hands it out freely.

Also, he works very, very hard to make sure that I can practice my freedom even if he really can't. He does this, because this is the lifestyle he enjoys and truly loves. He would do anything to preserve it. He loves coming home to homemade bread. He loves watching movies with me cuddled up under a homemade blanket. He takes pride in the fact that I can stay home. He works very hard, we are very frugal, and we plan ahead for those "just in case" lean times.


Image result for tired working mom

Housewives have the freedom to do as we please.  We can sleep half the day away and half-clean the house just before our husbands come home if we want.  We can spend the day doing nothing other than reading a good book, or watching The Waltons re-runs.  We have the freedom to practice some laziness.  Do not working women take vacations and have sick time?  When I worked for a school district (and I wasn't a teacher), I received 14 days vacation, 7 sick days, 3 personal days, over a full week for Christmas, a week off for Thanksgiving, a week off in spring, plus all the other one day holidays...all off...all with pay.  I tallied it up once.  I received over 3 months worth of time all paid.  So I don't really want to hear from working women about when I wanna take a month off to do absolutely nothing other than dishes and dinner.  In the end, what I do is none of their business anyway. 

There are also downsides to being at home full-time, and these are the ones working women will invariably say to me in conversations about staying home.  Yes, I can get in a rut and become depressed over the state of the house, especially when it seems all the messes are from my family and not from me.  I can feel like the maid.  It sucks when the only conversation you get during the day is from your cranky 2-year-old or your dog.  Yes, there are days when I become bored and wonder if I shouldn't just get a part-time job just to break the monotony of cleaning and cooking.  Staying at home is hard sometimes.  No doubt about it.  However, I'm here living out my purpose.

The last thing I'll say here is, all jobs come with perks and downsides.  When I worked for that school district I came home irritable every night.  It took about three hours for me to be back to myself, which was about bedtime.  Speaking of which, I was tired all the time.  I didn't have time to learn to crochet, which since I've been home I've learned.  And I love it!  I didn't have time for a lot of things.  I worked extremely hard, all day, every day because I felt if I just stood around on the clock it was the same thing as stealing.  My brain was fried, my muscles hurt, and I was very cranky.  I spent all day Sunday cooking meals for the upcoming week, and Saturdays were spent in a fog of movies unremembered even on Monday.  But hey, money wasn't a problem and I got a lot of time off paid.  I guess it's all about priorities.

11 comments:

  1. I think the greatest perks of being a housewife are that one can work alone and make her own schedule. When I was working outside the home, I always had problems with working with other people. I am very efficient when I start something and I get really irritated if others are not, or if they want to endlessly talk about how to do things. I know what I am doing, thank you very much. :) And it is extremely important to me to be able to follow my own rythm, no matter what I am doing. I must have lots of breaks, for example, or I get exhausted.

    -Housewife from Finland-

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    1. I work the exact same way. When I work, I really work. I mean I work HARD. I am also extremely efficient. I read your comment, and I was like "yes! exactly!" I can't stand jaw-jacking about what we're fixing to do for 45 minutes, for in that time we could've just got it done, lol!

      When I worked I had a saying that I used with my boss. "I don't do stupid, and I don't do lazy. Send me neither and I'll get it done."

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  2. Hi! A great post and thanks for the link!

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    1. No problem at all. Like you, I don't comment unless I really feel what I say, and I don't link or anything unless I actually follow the blog. Whether someone links to me or not is irrelevant.

      I'm sure you can appreciate that it's not free advertising. I really feel this way! :)

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  3. Do you have any suggestions on how to learn how to crochet? I'm definitely a visual learner, so preferably a video over a book. Thanks!

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    1. Tricia, I really am a kinestetic learner. I learn by doing. I don't take oral directions well. If I read it, then I learn a little better. If I watch someone else do it, I have a pretty good chance of learning it.

      I did it from a book, and it took me days to do the simplest things. I felt stupid, but my kind husband reminded me constantly that it isn't that I'm dumb; I just learn differently. I would suggest just watching a lot of YouTube videos and keep pausing as you are doing what they say. Try a few. Some aren't very good, but others are really instructive.

      It really is very easy. I was making it harder than it is. That is the best advice I can give you. Don't overthink it.

      When I have time, I'll try to research some videos that I think are good and post some links for you if you like. :)

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  4. I may get back to comment later but I have to say that's the cutest photo! That chubby little puppy asleep on the lounge, hair in curlers, muffins at the ready... So applicable to your subject too.:)

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  5. P.S. Ladies, a blog which I've recently found is, Living from Glory to Glory.blogspot - Training and encouragement for homemakers by Roxy. The latest post, Friday Nov 27, 2015 is about The Tablecloth. Apologies if you're already aware of it.

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    1. No, I'm not aware I dont think. I'll have to check it out. The name of the post has piqued my interest!

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  6. This is a terrific post, Michelle. It's very honest about the realities (ups and downs) of being a housewife. Like you, I have days where everything is ticking along perfectly, the house looks lovely and the dinner is wonderfully put together. Those are the days I am so glad to be able to be at home, too.
    However, those OTHER days of which you speak so eloquently, can be a challenge. It is very helpful to hear that we all experience them. I usually find I feel guilty if I am unable to "pull everything together", as if somehow I have failed in my duties. I guess I have been feeling that since I don't "work" outside the home, my work at home should be just as organised and perfect as the effort I put in out in the workplace.
    This helps me to see things in a different way... Thank you!

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    1. Yes, I feel this way, too. I once wrote down how much I did on a normal week. Even when I'm not tearing through on a cleaning binge, I work about 40 hours per week. We can't forget that just because it's the weekend we just cease to do anything. Also, I consider crocheting and sewing and such work, too.

      I think it all averages out in the end. It's nice to be able to make our own hours. For those days and weeks I don't put in a full work-week I just figure I'm on vacation, lol!

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